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Mavis Livett - known as "Martyn" was one of the original members of UCL's infamous 'Pantyline' tour to West Suffolk in 1948.
Apart from a bear-shooting trip to Alaska this year, "Martyn" hasn't missed a UCL/USSC game since 1958.
Has taken an incredible 42,788 wickets in his career (at an average of 68) and still terrorises batsmen with his Irritable Bowel Syndrome.
Was advised by doctors in 1999 to choose between a cricket career and curry. Has ignored all advice since.

Paul BC - Became USSC's youngest captain in 2001 at the age of 19.
Clarke is a quick-scoring both batting at number three and in the dance-hall. Despite hailing from Burton-upon-Trent (where his mother is chief taster for Marston's Pedigree) his style at the wicket and cabaret club door is already legendary.
He skippered USSC to its most confused year ever in 2001, and bewildered visiting sides to Caius with his dandy tossing. Groin susceptible to excessive probing.

Howard of Blackburn - The "Burn" is devastating both while fielding in the covers and sitting at the tea table.
Has run out batsmen in less than 0.3 seconds of picking the ball up - just 0.1 of a second slower than his record for downing a sesame seed bloomer smeared with egg mayonnaise. Has also been known to eat plates.
With one of the highest backlifts in the modern game, the weight of Blackburn's cover drive is as heavy as his lungs' tar content.
Has garnered a reputation as USSC's 'bad boy' after several incidents in 2001, not least of all for petulantly breaking a window at Caius after being beaten in a football competition by Saji's 9-year-old son.

Ade Kempton - A veteran of the USSC 'scene' who has made the all-rounder's spot his own on at least two occasions. Played his first game for the Caius side at the age of four. Once tipped for the (Big) top, his career, however, has never reached the heights it should have done after a series of troubling illnesses.
Kimpton's third game for USSC in 1972 was cut short after he incessantly complained of the effects of too much Calpol the night before.
Kimpton could have been a regular number three batsman if anyone had asked him, but has instead become the second leading wicket-taker ever at the club, after Livett, and still flatters to deceive at every turn.

Chippy Dunford - Unusually for a vampire, Chippy is USSC's first choice opening batsman and displays a temperament untypical of his Transylvanian ancestors. Chippy once represented the Romanian national side and made a bloody century in dim light on a naughty track in the second innings of their test with Western Silesia at the Bucharest Oval.
In the 2000 season "Chippy" averaged over 50 runs - his trademark 'Slap' accounting for 42.67 of those runs. One of the game's gentlemen, he has a very nice arm in the field (his left one).

Ali McCluskey - USSC has never been safer than when McCluskey has been standing behind the stumps in big gloves. After a memorable career with the 1960s/70s/80s super-group The Monkees (stage name: Micky Dolenz), McCluskey was signed up by the USSC committee in 1982 for a fee of $75,000, a fortune in those days.
In 1999 he surpassed the great Rodney Marsh's record for the number of catches taken at Gonville and Caius, with two in total for the season.
McCluskey has, for three consecutive seasons - and, uniquely, in two separate divisions - had the longest legs in the league. If rested properly overnight, he can be very cheeky with the bat.

Mark is the latest in a long line of aggressive Tathams. Father Ian - known for the bulldog tattoo on his neck - was a founder member of UCL and was a stone counter for the USSC.
Tatham M once turned down the offer to play for Sri Lanka to represent USSC against Cottenham, where one of the longest running rivalries in cricket was formed.
Never one to tolerate fat batsmen, Tatham hit the headlines for exposing his arse to one player and the whole of the crowd in the Kimpton Stand.
Tatham is the best opening batsman USSC has never had, preferring in past seasons to concentrate on his fiery seam bowling. Next season he is being tipped to be USSC's leading run-maker, with both the bat and ball. Became in 2000, the most successful skipper the club has ever had.

Richard Savage - Having been sent to Coventry for wrongly being accused of being the ring leader of the infamous 'Prawny Packer Series', Savvo did his bird in the lower leagues of provincial radio cricket.
All rounder Savvo joined USSC in the season of 1999 and amazed his team mates with his professionalism in all aspects of the modern game, paving the way for state of the art diets consisting of isotonic Sherry and roll ups.
This cultured southpaw batsman is renowned through out the county as the most devastatingly punishing batsman of leg theory bowling (when he makes contact) and his prawn like bowling figures at Caius are second only to that of Captain Birds-Eye.

Tom Ringer - 'The Piece' is another USSC stalwart. Unusually for the driving artistic force behind the team, Ringer is known for his fighting spirit.
Was voted in 2000 "The One Person You'd Most Like To Have In The Trenches With You". This season the "Word Up Cameo" award is surely his; Ringer is renowned for his partnership-breaking Golden Arm and his battling lower order batting. Is believed to be in negotiations with Shirley Bassey to produce a single - 'Goldringer', although this has been furiously denied on at least eight occasions.
Ringer is the official USSC club archivist, every minute detail of every innings (home and away) recorded in caricature form. His visual account of 'The Tatham incident' against Cottenham in 2000 won him the Observer's "Best Reporting of Controversy Via The Power Of Doodle" award. Is also a very tidy kitman